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I firmly hold the belief that it is forever an option to change. I think you can in fact train a seasoned creature, on the condition that the old dog is open-minded and ready for growth. Provided that the person is ready to confess when it was mistaken, and strive to be a improved version.

Alright, I confess, I am that seasoned creature. And the lesson I am working to acquire, even though I am a creature of habit? It is an important one, a feat I have grappled with, repeatedly, for my whole existence. I have been trying … to develop a calmer response toward those large arachnids. Pardon me, all the different eight-legged creatures that exist; I have to be grounded about my capacity for development as a human. The focus must remain on the huntsman because it is imposing, in charge, and the one I encounter most often. Encompassing on three separate occasions in the last week. In my own living space. You can’t see me, but I'm grimacing and grimacing as I type.

It's unlikely I’ll ever reach “admirer” status, but I’ve been working on at least becoming a baseline of normalcy about them.

A deep-seated fear of spiders from my earliest years (as opposed to other children who find them delightful). During my childhood, I had plenty of male siblings around to make sure I never had to handle any myself, but I still freaked out if one was clearly in the same room as me. One incident stands out of one morning when I was eight, my family still asleep, and trying to deal with a spider that had ascended the lounge-room wall. I “dealt” with it by retreating to a remote corner, nearly crossing the threshold (in case it pursued me), and emptying a significant portion of pesticide toward it. The chemical cloud missed the spider, but it did reach and annoy everyone in my house.

In my adult life, whomever I was in a relationship with or sharing a home with was, by default, the most courageous of spiders in our pairing, and therefore tasked with managing the intruder, while I emitted whimpers of distress and ran away. If I was on my own, my tactic was simply to exit the space, douse the illumination and try to forget about its being before I had to re-enter.

In a recent episode, I visited a companion's home where there was a notably big huntsman who lived in the window frame, mostly just stationary. As a means to be more comfortable with its presence, I imagined the spider as a her, a one of the girls, one of us, just chilling in the sun and overhearing us yap. Admittedly, it appears quite foolish, but it was effective (somewhat). Or, making a conscious choice to become less scared worked.

Whatever the case, I've made an effort to continue. I think about all the sensible justifications not to be scared. I am aware huntsman spiders won’t harm me. I recognize they consume things like buzzing nuisances (the bane of my existence). I know they are one of the planet's marvelous, harmless-to-humans creatures.

Alas, they do continue to walk like that. They travel in the deeply alarming and almost unjust way conceivable. The sight of their numerous appendages propelling them at that terrible speed induces my primordial instincts to enter panic mode. They are said to only have eight legs, but I believe that multiplies when they move.

But it isn’t their fault that they have frightening appendages, and they have an equal entitlement to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. I’ve found that employing the techniques of making an effort to avoid instantly leap out of my body and retreat when I see one, trying to remain still and breathing, and consciously focusing about their positive qualities, has proven somewhat effective.

Simply due to the reality that they are furry beings that dart around with startling speed in a way that invades my dreams, does not justify they merit my intense dislike, or my high-pitched vocalizations. I can admit when I’ve been wrong and motivated by irrational anxiety. I’m not sure I’ll ever make it to the “trapping one under a cup and escorting it to the garden” phase, but one can't be sure. A bit of time remains within this seasoned learner yet.